…..and it’s about nothing that I can put a finger on and say “Ha! I see this, it is making me angry and I will correct it and turn that feeling around to a more positive (if not happy) feeling!”
It’s more of a free-floating anger about life in general. It’s a thought that hovers just outside my conscious thinking, present, but not the focus. I’m not sure, really, why I’m feeling this anger, this hot brick of energy that sits squarely on my chest and in my mind. I just know that it’s there, it’s wanting my attention and that I am going to have to address it in order for it to go away.
Or, at least, to put myself in control of my feelings, rather than let it (or any other feeling) have control of me.
This is where I know my art and my writing will help. By putting my emotions on canvas, I’m acknowledging what’s going on inside my mind. By writing it out, by creating a story with fully realized characters, I’m giving those emotions a voice.
This feeling of anger is not there without reason. It’s not making itself present in my thoughts or my life just because it can. Something in my subconscious really needs to be addressed and I need to pay attention to it. Therapy can help, but I’m not in the mood for talking. By talking about it, I end up feeling like I’m poisoning the air around me.
I don’t want to do that. That’s exhausting for me. I’d rather focus on things that make me feel good and happy.
So, art and writing it is. Years ago, I wrote a thriller screenplay that was incredibly dark and creepy. I’ve been toying with turning it into a novel and printed it out. I’m making a bullet list of what I hope to accomplish within the story, how I want to format it.
That simple act is helpful for me.
This is something that I am doing for me. If, however, you feel in need of outside help, please, by all means, seek it out. There’s no shame in getting help, whether it’s to manage your feelings or your health or even improving your mindset.
Be creative and be active and be pro-active.
What are you creating today?