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J. J. Brown, Wordslinger

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Best Bud Mare

So, you may recall that I have this horse……

…….named Best Bud Mare, and we discuss a lot of things. A couple of weeks ago, because I happened to be wearing a Dodgers ball cap, we got to talking about baseball, which happens to be one of my favorite non-equine related sports. I have a few favorite teams (Dodgers, Angels, Cubs), but I’m more interested in the game itself than who wins.

I tried explaining this sport to Best Bud Mare, who immediately loved the concept of running the bases and between the infield and the outfield. But she had a hard time understanding the need for a bat and why you had to hit a ball to run.

Best Bud Mare: I don’t get it. Why do you need to hit a ball with a stick?

Me: So that you can run the bases. And then the other team has to run to catch the ball.

Best Bud Mare: That makes no sense. If you want to run, you should run.

Me: Hey, I don’t make the rules. Talk to the umpire about that.

Best Bud Mare: Umpire? Do you mean to tell me that the game is run by blood-sucking umpires?

Me: Um, no, you’re thinking vampires.

Best Bud Mare: (panicked, not hearing) No wonder you need wooden sticks to play this game! So that you can stake the umpires!

Me: (shaking head, gives up trying to explain the difference between umpires and vampires)

It took awhile to calm Best Bud Mare down. Once she realized that umpires are NOT vampires and that bats are not used to stake them, she became quite interested.

Best Bud Mare: Why is it called baseball?

Me: I think it’s because when you hit the ball, you run to a base.

Best Bud Mare: Oh. (thinks) Can we play?

Me: We need two teams. And a field.

Best Bud Mare: Oh. (thinks some more) What’s a team?

I can see that this is going to be a little more detailed than I’d originally thought. So, I tried to explain baseball teams to Best Bud Mare.

Best Bud Mare: You mean there are teams of two and they pull wagons, like horses?

Me: Um, no. Wrong kind of team.

Best Bud Mare: Ah.

Me: So, anyway, there are different baseball teams and they have names like the Cubs, or the Dodgers or the White Sox or the Phillies….

Best Bud Mare: Ah-ha!!! So there are horses in baseball!

Me: Um, no. Wrong kind of filly.

She wouldn’t talk to me for the rest of the day after that.

So, I have this horse…….

…….and, as happens on occasion, I pondered Life, the Universe and Everything with Best Bud Mare and came to this conclusion.

Me: You know, the only thing better than being surrounded by horses and good friends is being surrounded by books.

Best Bud Mare: Yup, this is true. (pause) What’s a book?

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