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J. J. Brown, Wordslinger

"I Sling Words As I Go Along."

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fear

So, I’m feeling a bit kerfluffled…….

….about my Current Work In Progress. Although approximately two-thirds written, I’m at a point where the story is starting to balk and refuse to move forward. The characters are trapped on the staircase in a forgotten and abandoned house, someone is at the front door, and the only way out is back the way they came – upstairs.

I know what’s going to happen after this bit, who it involves and the eventual wrap-up that is the final page, but I’m not sure of how I’m going to get there. Or what connects the current bulk of the manuscript to the final pages.

I also don’t want to write it.

Which is probably why the story has balked at this particular point and why I’m feeling kerfluffled. I don’t know why I don’t want to write this next section of the story, but I can feel it every time I sit down to work.

I’m avoiding it, I want to avoid it. Badly. But, like the characters in the story, I’m trapped. The only way out is not through an upstairs window, but moving forward and trusting the words that come out of my pen to show me the way.

Besides, it’s not like anything terrible is going to happen beyond betrayal, self-discovery and falling in love.

And now a word from Judy Blume……..

“Let children read whatever they want and then talk about it with them. If parents and kids can talk together, we won’t have as much censorship, because we won’t have as much fear.”

Judy Blume
February 12, 1938

So, I was contemplating………

………my earlier post about the ease and/or difficulty of writing in a genre outside one’s comfort zone (whether it’s erotica or something else entirely, it’s all the same). To challenge myself as a writer is to better myself at the craft of putting words together and coming up with magic.

Most of my stories reflect my life, as I’ve mentioned in at least one other post. When I mention to friends that I’ve taken on erotica, to a one, the response has been only positive. So, I know this story will be received with a lot of love and support.

But there is a huge amount of fear attached to this.

I have a tremendous fear of letting go of my intellect and embracing my passions.

In short, I have to go from icy logical Vulcan to fiery impulsive Romulan.

Because, you see, I’ve been saying over and over for awhile now that I want passion in my life. Passion for what I do, in the creative sense. Passion for what I want, in the professional sense. Passion in all of its glorious and beautiful and frightening and positive glory.

What is erotica but a tale of two adult people surrendering to fiery, impulsive passion?

“To create out of logic rather than emotion is not logical.”

I think Spock would have said something like this. Whether or not he agreed with it, he would have seen its truth.

To create something, it must be born out of emotion by way of passion.

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